a short essay on forgiving and being forgiven;
There was a Saturday in 2019 when I sat among 20 other people in a cafe located in one of the most historical spots in Bandung called Braga. We went there after filled a registration form and paying IDR 75k for a poem class with a cup of tea (or it might be coffee, I am not sure). The class was hosted by one of my favorite poets, Theoresia Rumthe.
Theo, asked all the participants to write down a piece of words about apology without the word apology itself. It was not hard nor easy, at first it just felt unique to me. As time goes by, now I know this method can be used to define something complex into a simpler form (and maybe the more understandable one).
Mendaki seraya berlari
Lelah tapi tak patah arah
Mengepak hingga puncak
Akhirnya aku bisa berteriak
When the time was up I was finished with these four lines of words.
Theo then asked whoever of us who want to share their writing, I choosed to be a listener and saved mine for my own on my notebook. Enjoying the rest of the session while also having my cup of hot beverages.
— — —
Those memories suddenly popped up in my mind when I tried to reflect on what does Eid Al Fitr means to me; is it about “Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin” or that “Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin” is just one of the cultures made by humans to celebrate their big day; I am starting to be skeptic about this one because those memories reminding me that forgiving nor being forgiven is not an instant thing that can be done in a day (moreover through a phrase) — it is a journey that needs time and sincerity, not just a phrase “Minal Aidin Walfaidzin” nor a day of Eid.
So, why do we act like we have forgiven someone when we have not? Nor why do we act like we are asking for an apology from someone when we do not really mean it with all our hearts?
In the end, Eid Al Fitr, in my surrounding — from my eyes, just turned into a celebration that I could not feel the essence of lately. The word “Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin” turned into oversaying words that I am not sure people do really know what it means.
— — —
So, I am sending you this writing, to say Eid Mubarak to you and everyone around wherever you are!
I know that forgiving my mistakes can not be done in a blink by reading this writing nor hear I am saying “Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin” but all I want you to know is that I will always try to be a better me that will do my best and will ask for your apology anytime I realize I just did a mistake and I hope if I am not, you do not mind to reprimand and remind me.
I Am Trying To, I Wish We Are Trying To.
Let us bear with each other during it.
Cheers!
Maybrat, 2022.
